Biophelia

I first heard about biophelia listening to NPR. It was a new diagnosis for kids, kids who had never once in their life stepped foot off of concrete. Crazy, right? Well apparently yes, it does make kids crazy if they don’t get their nature fix. Biophelia translates directly to “call of the wild” and the treatment plan for these not so wild young ones is the simplicity of being bussed the fuck out the city and let to run amok. Kids are the best social-ometer we possess. If there lies a dysfunction within society, look to the behaviour of our cubs and one will surely see its making. I find this diagnosis hopeful. Pharmaceutical companies will not be making money out of this particular “disorder”.
And as I ascend the Franz Joseph glacier (pronounced gla-S-ier, not glashur here) with my hands frozen and my body soaked to the bone from the continual rain, I think to myself that biophelia must be responsible for my current situation. “Why the fuck am I doing?” I ask myself as I slide through a ice crevice which barely and I mean BARELY allows my body full passage—meaning I am sliding between two walls of ice which melt upon contact with my body, soaking me even more. Oh right, biophelia, thats what's making me do this. The fact that this glacier is here, asking to be ascended and because there will come a time when I simply won’t be able to complete such feats.
The real example of biophelia here is Pearl, our guide-the only female guide I’ve seen in the entire organization. Pearl has a low timbered voice, quirky social mannerisms and an awkward, endearing laugh which erupts at odd moments bespeaking to her off center sense of humor. A sense of humor created by the lack of media and the everyday glacier climbing (6 days a week she does full day ice climbing.) “Not a bad office,eh?” she says, looking up toward the mountains.
Pearl may be Maori. She is from the North Island where the Maori presence is larger. Her features are distinctively Pacific Islander. She also may be Samoan. I don’t ask. I want to though. I want to ask her for an interview and get her talking. A video camera would have been handy whilst hiking to capture her glee as she wields her ice pick against the skin of the glacier, cutting out pathways for us to climb. Pearl runs along the edges of ice in her cramp-ons (the “teeth” attached to your boots so you can grab onto the ice) and is fearless and completely in her element. She has been guiding hikes on the glacier for 3 years now. 3 YEARS!
There are moments when we as group have to stop and wait. Either Pearl is seeking out our next route or we are waiting for the group ahead of us to move farther along. I watch her and she’s like an 8 yr old boy, playing warrior, jumping, hitting and making noises. I mean, strange, out of nowhere sounds that if I made them, I would look around, surprised and say “Excuse me” to the existing company. Pearl is unapologetic and for the most part wholly unaware of us in these small moments.
I focus so much on Pearl because the rest of my group is tedious. They are a “crew”, all on the Kiwi experience together, under the age of 24 and you can tell they can’t wait to get off the mountain, post all their photos on Facebook and get really drunk. Now we all know I use facebook, however not to this level. I hear them reference FB multiple times, leaving me the distinct impression that this experience is not fully real and won’t be until their virtual personality has been updated to include their latest “adventure”.
I need to admit that this prognosis is in part influenced by the frontline show I have just seen. The show is investigating the ways in which the internet has become a source of dis-ease for teenagers etc, by illuminating the level to which the net is being utilized by young adults and kids—for ill purposes. How many kid have killed themselves after cyber-bullying? From the looks of this show, more than I would’ve imagined. Taking into account the cruelty of cliques and the fragility of the highschool ego, I do feel glad that this level of exposure wasn’t available when I was younger. Psychologist are saying that we haven’t seen a generation gap between parents and kids like this since Rock n Roll.
So yes, I feel the generation gap between myself and the rest of the group. Or an intoxication gap?--or maybe its just an good ole’fashioned IQ gap. (ha ha)
But back to Pearl. Pearl is speaking to the group about something and I am watching her. Her gaze hits me directly and she stops short of what she is saying. “Gosh, you’ve got amazing eyes”. I smile awkwardly because now the entire group is looking at me. “may I come closer?” she is asking me, like I’m one of the seven wonders of the world. She gets near to my face and stares into my eyes, “I’ve never seen gold eyes before”. And then just like that she changes the subject and we’re moving on. However, for me from this moment on, I begin to wonder whose team Pearl plays for. Is she flirting? Is she trying to light me up? I think about how if she is gay, and by gay I mean butch but butch before butch knew itself…bush butch, the real deal before there was a word for it butch. My musing catch fire as she refers to me as “pretty eyes” for the rest of the descent. I think again about really asking her for an interview. Then I realize I may not really be up for it after this hike. I want immersion in warmth and a strong drink and a deep slumber.
Finally we are done. We have made it down the ice and past the sliding rock mountain. This glacier moves 2-3 meters a day..meaning the while we were grunting and puffing our way through it, it was silently and slowing changing place. The Franz joseph glacier is the third largest of the over 3,000 glacier in NZ. At 32 km across, it’s the size of Auckland. It’s a good glacier to have been your first, and with the cold nipping every single cell of me, I think its also a good one to have as your last. I feel good at the end though, the way one feels when you’ve physically had to commit for an entire day to something. Knowing how the human mind has an amazing capacity for forgetfulness when it comes to pain and discomfort, I’ll probably find myself up on the ice again, sometime in my lifetime. Maybe I’ll come back in a few years, and check and see is Pearl is still wielding her ice pick and running wild on this huge piece of moving ice.